Thursday Sept 22 at 9:03pm ET is the Fall Equinox. After the intense heat of summer, we begin to cool down as the light wanes and day and night are of equal length, if only for 24 hours. When the trees lose their leaves, they send their strength back to their roots as they prepare for a long winter’s rest. That rest is important to prepare for the new season of growth in the year to come. As in nature, so with we humans.
In Ayurveda fall is considered a season of transition, a season of change as we move from the heat of summer to the cold of winter. During any time of change, it is important to embrace that which remains steady in our lives. Yoga philosophy teaches that there is a ground of being that remains steady, unchanging, and dependable even through shifts of season and life changes. That ground of being lies within each one of us, and when we still the mind, we can access that deeper support. It takes practice, but it is possible to recognize that experience of consciousness that is larger than our own selves and yet nothing other than our own selves.
Nina Zolotow writes in her book Yoga for Times of Change, “Learning about yoga philosophy provides you with alternative ways of thinking about your life, enabling you to be more content with what you have and what you don’t have, and to become more comfortable with change. This in turn can make you a better citizen of the world.”
The world needs better citizens right now. Please keep on shining your light in this world!
We are about to reach the one-year anniversary of living with Covid19 in isolation. Normally at this time of year I would be preparing for our annual journey to India (See photos from past trips here and here) but this year is quite different. This year has seen so many changes in life, death, and lifestyle. I hope that yoga practice has brought you some comfort in this past year.
For myself there have been ups and downs. Transitioning to teaching yoga classes online was certainly challenging, but I was also able to complete an idea that had been brewing for a long time, my first online course. When the pandemic began, Wildflower Yoga started offering monthly Yoga Nidra to benefit various social justice causes. We raised a total of $8,272 last year! Our Benefit last week will add another $660 to that total. 100% of all proceeds go directly to the non-profit organizations; no funds were held back. If those were “up’s,” then a down would be that the physical space in which we were holding class is no longer available. The ups and downs are both waves in the ocean, eventually one settles and the other rises up. With yoga practice we learn to dive deep into the ocean and move beyond the surface push and pull to be able to observe life’s challenges from an objective place — with any luck, from a more harmonious place. We begin to recognize changes as different phases, different tides within the same ocean of consciousness.
My colleague, teacher, and friend Kathy Donnelly has been talking about community a lot lately and I agree with her that our community of like-minded souls is an important part of surviving the pandemic with a level head. It is great solace to me each time I see your faces in class. The effort it takes to bring peace and well-being to your own body-mind-heart really inspires me. Who knows how much longer this social distancing needs to be in place — I have always thought it should be called physical distancing, not “social” distancing — but I am thankful for each of you and for your effort to support your own good health. Let’s continue building community together by practicing together, and even on your own at home; home practice is an important part of yoga where you can really explore the poses and how they feel in your body. If I can be a small part of your yoga journey, for that I am truly thankful.
This is the third year that Rimmi Singh, her sister Pammi, and I have taken a group of yogi travelers, yatri, to India. Each time the trip is to somewhat different places, and this time 22 of us had an amazing tour of Tamil Nadu and Kerala. South India is quite different from north India in terms of the food, spices, language, and landscape. Perhaps there is a slight difference in the people too, as a whole. In the whole of the subcontinent, there is just a mind-boggling amount of variety in everyday life as the sacred sits right next to the mundane which sits right next to riches which sits right next to poverty. It is all mixed up in a colorful stew. Quite often when one thinks of India, I believe it is common to first think of the third world and poverty, but what we experienced was a great depth of culture and progressive ideas.
This city has a heavily French influence as it was founded in 1674 by the French East India Company. It is home to Auroville of Sri Aurobindo fame and the famous flower market. All of India seems to be covered in flower petals; they seem to always be blossoming and are ever fragrant, and the flower market here begins early in the morning to avoid the midday heat. It is more like a wholesale place, where people come to buy in bulk and then sew the flowers up into beautiful garlands to wear or offer at the many temples. It stands in the midst of fish sellers and vegetable sellers and there is an amazing amount of activity even before 7am.
Sri Aurobindo is a famous guru at the turn of the 20th century who had a great influence on Indian and even American culture based on his teachings and the books that he wrote. The Mother was also quite prevalent as she was his spiritual equal who helped found the Auroville ashram. About Auroville:
Auroville (City of Dawn) is an ‘experimental’ township in Viluppuram district in the state of Tamil Nadu, India near Puducherry in South India. It was founded in 1968 by Mirra Richard (since her definitive settling in India called ‘[The] Mother’) and designed by architect Roger Anger. Auroville is meant to be a universal town where men and women of all countries are able to live in peace and progressive harmony, above all creeds, all politics and all nationalities. The purpose of Auroville is to realize human unity.
Some words from the Mother:
Be courageous, enduring, and vigilant and above all, be sincere, with perfect honesty. Then you will be able to face all difficulties.
The Ganesha Temple in Pondi was our first elephant sighting, the first of several more. Here I am receiving a blessing from Lakshmi.
Our hotel was right on the Bay of Bengal and I swear people were up all night long walking the promenade, feeding the cows and dogs, and chanting by the sea.
I visited here with Douglas Brooks just a few weeks previous, and this is my third time to this temple. It is the Nataraja Temple, Shiva in his form as Lord of the Dance. Each time I arrive here, it feels like home. Visitors are not allowed to take pictures in the temple, so memories will have to do, but I will say that this temple, like many in south India, is arranged in such a way so that when you step inside its walls, it is as though you are stepping into your own Self. The concentric circles of walls lead you through the layers, koshas, of your own mind until you get to the inner sanctum, where Nataraja resides, and where your innermost Self resides.
At most temples, there is a “flagpole” outside of the main sanctum, sometimes it is brass or wood, sometimes it is covered in gold. There is no flag on top, but the pole itself is often ornately carved. It rises higher than the roof or if indoors, usually goes through the ceiling. This post represents your spine and the spiritual energy, kundalini shakti, held within it. To me, just gazing at the pole brings a sense of power. It is taller than the ceiling to represent the fact that the kundalini energy or power rises up from the base of the spine to the crown of your head, which leads the yogi into a more expansive state of awareness.
We experienced a sacred abishekam ritual with the crystal lingam, “the formless form of Shiva,” in which the priests known as dikshitars would pour many substances like milk, yogurt, ghee, sandalwood paste, rice, honey, sometimes even flower petals, over the lingam, washing it clean after each substance. It is a strange practice, but when you observe it, it is quite evocative, you cannot help but feel something inside. This ritual is concluded with an aarti, the waving of light from a candle flame, around a ruby Nataraja statue. This little statue I’m guessing is about a foot high, and it is pure ruby, so when they shine the light behind it, it glows a brilliant red and takes my breath away.
As my friend Bharati, who assisted us at the temple, said: there are three main parts to Tamil culture, wearing a sari is sacred for women, also the bindi placed on the third eye, and jasmine flowers strung in one’s hair. There is nothing like the smell of jasmine in your hair in south India.
We had a brief stay at Svatma Hotel. This place is a must stay because it is a converted Brahmin home that is so elegant and completely welcoming. The staff meets your every need, and one may experience yogic rituals like morning chanting and yoga, even dance performances in the evenings. My good friends Michael and Karen Levin treated me to a sound immersion — in the spa, there is an entire room dedicated to creating different sounds and tones so that one might bathe in the vibrations of gongs, chimes, a thunder-making instrument, a table that has harp strings underneath the bed that one lies upon while someone plucks the strings and the vibrations move through your entire being. It is a complete vibrational experience that left me feeling refreshed and cleansed.
We saw a fascinating and beautiful traditional Indian dancer perform too.
In Madurai we visited the Meenakshi Temple. This little lady’s claim to fame is that she was born with three breasts. As a princess, her father the king was so very proud of her, and there was an oracle that said when she met her match, her mate for life, that the third breast would disappear. As luck would have it, the only match for her was the great lord himself, Shiva. This temple and the Chidambaram temple have some ethereal connection for this reason. A god is never far from a goddess.
As with many south Indian temples, this one owns an elephant. She greets pilgrims and offers blessings, and each morning, her keepers take her out for a walk around the town. Tamil people love their elephants, and for six weeks out of the year she goes on “vacation” to an elephant preserve. We all have to blow off a little stress once in a while.
At any temple, there is a daily schedule. The priests wake the gods in the morning, they bathe them, they clothe and feed them, and in the evening, they get put to bed. A few of us took part in this night ceremony. First, only Hindus are allowed in the main inner sanctum, so Bela was the only one of our small group to enter there to receive darshan. But when she emerged from the sight of Meenakshi, she was so radiant, we received her darshan by osmosis. As she rejoined us then we walked over to the Shiva shrine where the night ceremony begins. The priests take out a Shivalingam from this sanctum and carry it over to the opening of Meenakshi’s sanctum, where her shoes are brought out as a symbol of her whole self. The lingam and the shoes mingle side by side for a few moments as the priests chant, and then the lingam and shoes are put to bed. Again, such an odd thing to do, but at the same time there is a visceral sense that something deeper is happening. Inner spiritual structure is reorganizing somehow. As Douglas Brooks puts it, either grown men are playing with dolls here or something visceral and deep is going on. In reality, it is both.
Thekkady, Periyar National Park
Spice Village is a progressive property that does not allow any plastic on the premises. The hotel is a series of cottages spread out over many acres on a mountain in the Western Ghat range. Did I mention most of this trip has been in the 90-100° range? This was the coolest portion of our trip.
Naturalists provide nature and bird walks, they filter their own water and make paper here. The bags to hold receipts or souvenirs from the store are made of newsprint being reused. They compost in several different ways and have a beautiful garden from which they use the food in their restaurants. It is so close to nature, there are guinea fowl that roam freely on the property and only occasionally get eaten by the monkeys. And so many birds! After the busy-ness of the cities in Tamil Nadu, this was a great time to unwind.
Upon leaving Spice Village, we stopped at a tea plantation school. This may have been one of the most moving parts of our trip as the elementary age children were overjoyed to see us. We brought pencils, notepads, erasers, pens, stickers, and candy to the kids and everyone wanted to get their pictures taken. We sang songs together and treated the kids to ice cream dessert after lunch that day. It was truly precious. Being around the kids brought thoughts of my sister in North Carolina, who daily works with children facing great challenges regarding their ability to learn, homelife, and poverty. These children at least have homes, food, and schooling, but poverty is there, and they have unique challenges due to culture and climate too.
Kumarakom, Vembanad Lake
Here we stayed at the largest lake in Kerala, known as Vembanad and famous for its houseboats. Seeing these things on the water made me think of some creature from the 80s television program Fraggle Rock. We had a whole day tour on a house boat which was really wonderful. The crew fed us lunch and after lunch our guide, Raj, set up his playlist, which of course was American golden oldies type music and the main deck of the houseboat became a dance floor. His comment to me was unforgettable, “this is the true yoga, when people are happy and laughing and dancing.”
We stayed at Coconut Lagoon, which is another CGH Earth property like Spice Village, so no plastic anywhere. I haven’t mentioned the food yet — I will never tire of dosa or idly and sambar. Delicious. You have to take a boat to get to the property, and there are canals throughout the property to help manage the landscape, which is filled with flowers and fruit trees and butterflies. The canals gave me a strong memory of growing up with my grandparents in the summers in South Bethany Beach Delaware the way the canals were in the backyards of the beach houses and you could boat around and see people’s intimate backyard lives or head to the bay to enjoy nature. And waterskiing. These memories are some that seemed long gone and therefore gave me a greater sense of integration with my life, connecting past to present.
There is an Ayurvedic spa here with two doctors on hand to treat your every need based on your ayurvedic constitution and life habits. And plenty of swings for relaxing and watching the sunset over the lake. The meditation teacher here, Naveed, seemed to be trained in the Shivananda style, I never asked him but his practices leaned that way. Morning yoga and evening meditation daily was a real treat.
Finally, we landed at the Taj Malabar resort in Cochin or Kochi, two names for the same place. We were right on the water across from a huge port. Again, a memory of childhood and family, in particular my brother who I am so proud of as he is now Chief Engineer for the Virginia Port Authority and works at a location just like this one. Seeing the whale of a huge ship entering the inland waterway and docking at the port and watching the cranes add to or remove cargo was like a connection across the planet to family.
Some of our group attended a Kathakali Dance performance. This ancient technique involves only men, and lots of make-up. One of the dancers demonstrated the different emotions used in Indian cultural dances; the subtle control of his facial muscles is like I’ve never seen. Kathakali uses mudras, hand or even body gestures, to tell a story, in the same way Classical Indian Dance does, but it certainly has its unique south-Indian flavor.
Chinese fishing nets are an amazing sight at the waterside. Made of wood and hand-tied ropes, this ancient fishing practice stands side-by-side to modern buildings and technology of the city. Case in point: the Cochin airport is the first in the world to be 100% solar powered.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
Twenty two intrepid yoga yatri, travelers. Twenty two hearts and forty four eyes from which to experience this vast and rich culture and country. And each moment leads me back to my new family of these travelers, my lifetime family at home, and my own Self.
This morning my mantra was
like water to a thirsty soul.
There was no question
I needed my cushion.
It was a compulsion as easy as
a mountain stream flows to the sea.
No effort, only lightness
Each breath elixir
Each moment a chance to awaken
Each repetition a soft calling
To the one, the many.
Ever since my return from India
I’ve been highly inspired to maintain
Things will happen when they happen.
It is so easy to default to the opposite
To push things, force things, rush things
Why? Just because
But reality is in the moment
The precious moment the sun rises
and the light touches your face.
Ease is there for the receptive taking,
Things will happen when they happen.
I am currently teaching a Meditation For Stress Relief course at Willow Street Yoga Center in Silver Spring. We are cultivating a state of witness consciousness in which we can sit and accept whatever thought or feeling arises as it happens by observing without passing judgement. Recently a student asked me about how she can maintain better focus when she is sitting because she seems to always notice sounds — someone walking, a cough, a siren in the distance. Here is my response:
Sustaining focus is a big part of the practice! There will always be things that distract us, so first of all, just knowing that is the case can help relieve you of some of the burden of “should.” For example, “I should have better focus than I do,” or “I should be able to sit still and not be distracted for longer than 2 minutes!” When something distracts you, it is natural to notice it, but can you notice it without falling into the “should” trap or without having a physical reaction, like the adrenaline rush if it is a loud, scary noise for example. Simply notice it and return your attention to your point of focus for your practice. (Unless that loud scary noise is actually a warning of impending danger. Must beware of danger.) Continually returning your awareness to your point of focus is major.
So the question is not necessarily how can I sustain better focus? But the question becomes, how can I accept fully each moment as it arises? If that moment is one of silence and focus, all the better; if that moment is one of a distracting noise, or a phone call, or an appointment that you do not want to attend, can you allow yourself to be in that moment without getting too caught up in the drama, in the story of it.
Meditation practice helps smooth the edges. Over time, your awareness no longer has huge swings from happiness to sadness, pleasure to pain, anxiety to calm. Over time you learn to maintain a more even keel which actually brings about a state of “satchidananda.” The yogis call this state our true nature. And our birthright as human beings.
Sat = being or existence, the truth of our lives Chid = conscious awareness, knowing that we exist Ananda = joy or bliss
As they say, we are not human beings having spiritual experiences, we are spiritual beings having human experiences. Like standing on your head, this shift of perspective can turn the world upside down. In a good way.
Let’s diverge from Ayurveda for a bit. One of the things I like to do to entertain myself is, after my morning meditation practice, I’ll pick up a book, often a poetry book, and flip to any page and read what is there waiting for me. It’s entertaining because there is always something different to think about.
Today, Mary Oliver was first. When I Wake Early is a great collection of poems about nature and At Black River is a haunting poem about an alligator. “Don’t think/I’m not afraid./There is such an unleashing/of horror.”
I didn’t want to end on that note, so I picked up Tantra Illuminated by Christopher Wallis and flipped randomly to page 141, Pure Mantra-Wisdom, Shuddha-vidyaa. It was quite appropriate because this week in my classes we’ve been embodying the inherent wisdom of the universe. Prana is vital life force and has consciousness, and when we breathe fully and move with the breath, we infuse that consciousness into every cell of our bodies. When muscles are tight, prana cannot flow properly. Do yoga to stretch and open our bodies and we feel better because there is clarity in the channels in which prana flows.
In some of those classes, we’ve been chanting the seed sound, bija mantra, for the heart center, anaahata chakra, YAM. Through the chant, our bodies get vibrated with the sound. Sometimes it is even palpable. Subtle, but real. The mantras carry awareness.
Then this morning I was reminded that the feminine form of the word mantra is vidyaa, wisdom. The idea is that the vibration is the conscious thing. This is the beauty of the Sanskrit language, the letters/sounds/syllables evolve from the actual vibration of the created world. If you chant “yam,” you feel it at the heart (if you are so sensitive). Of course this takes lots of practice and trust at first, but slowly slowly the yogi begins to recognize it for herself. Wallis says that we know this doctrine that mantras are conscious was taken seriously because the texts tell us that “if the guru grants initiation into the Tantra to someone who subsequently falls from the path, then that guru must perform a special ritual to apologize to the mantras for putting them to work needlessly.” (p.141)
Om Shrim Mahaalakshmyai Namah — the very vibration “is the Goddess Lakshmi in sound form.” (p.141) The vibration is abundance and beauty, elegance and radiant diversity. At this level of awareness the yogi experiences the diversity of energies that arise from a single source, conscious awareness that abides as the vibrational fluctuation and the ground of being itself.
Yam might be simpler to comprehend since it is directly connected to one’s own body at the heart. It is a great place to begin. Or end. Or abide within.
Don’t think I am not afraid. There is such an unleashing of wonder.
Sadhana is one of the first Sanskrit words that I ever learned. Practice.
“Tantra Yoga is 1% theory and 99% practice.” – Sri Anandamurti
“Practice and all is coming.” – Sri Patthabi Jois
Last Friday night I completed teaching a six week special course on Meditation for Stress Relief. One thing I tried to impress is that practice is really the key — set an intention to practice at least 10 minutes a day for the duration of our six week time together. They say it takes three weeks of repeated practice to create a new habit, and we had six. Did any students make that goal? I am not completely sure, but at least the intention was there, the intention to practice was holding the space to actually make it happen. If not now, some day.
So last week I was all prepared to offer a great meditation on working with difficult emotions, which we did, but not without interruption. The entire time we sat in the studio at Willow Street Yoga Center in Takoma Park, there was construction going on directly upstairs from us. This was at 6:15pm on a Friday night, mind you. It was just little noises at first, but once we were settled in to the actual meditation itself, twice — not once, but twice — some heavy object like a drill or something was dropped. In the midst of (relative) silence, an abrupt, harsh, jarring noise.
When you are so in tune with your breath, you can really feel all the ways in which a loud jarring noise affects you. Tendrils of sensation immediately fanned out from my ears to my belly to my skin. My adrenaline kicked up a notch. I can only imagine what it was like for my students. So, a gentle reminder, we are in a safe place, the ceiling is not going to come crashing down around us, please return to the flow of your breath. And then the BANG happened again.
It reminded me of a Spiritual Warrior Camp I once attended. Near Scranton, Pennsylvania, about ten years ago, my suite-mate at the time and I decided to take a week and practice meditation with fellow yogis who wanted to kick up their sadhana experience. And kick it up we did. We would wake early, 5am, and meditate. We practiced meditation five times each day – early morning, before each meal, and before bed. And in between we hiked and played paint ball (?!? how is this yogic?!?) and hiked more.
This was the one and only time I’ve ever played paintball, and it was not fun. There were about 20 of us in this course and we divided into two teams. Our team had strategy, and we even won, if you can call it that, but big purple bruises on my legs were evidence that I did not enjoy it. Sometimes you’ve gotta do things you just don’t like I guess.
During one particular meditation, the three yogis leading the retreat had us sit out in a field near the ashram and while we were supposed to keep our eyes closed and focus on our mantras, they were running around us with drums and tambourines and little fireworks that you throw on the ground and make a big loud crack when they hit. Yep, just like trying to meditate while construction is going on directly above you at a yoga studio.
That part of camp was great fun really. I learned to focus deeper and not be attached to the stuff that doesn’t matter. I learned to let the stuff that may be jarring just exist without having to react to it. I learned let the stuff that does not pertain to me, even though it might affect me on some level, take its course without derailing my plans. It is possible, it just takes practice.
On this path no effort is wasted, no gain is ever reversed; even a little of this practice will shelter you from great sorrow.
Floyd Yoga Jam at Burnette Farm this past weekend was a rocking good time.
We arrived on Friday with our tiny backpacker tent and camped by a little creek for the weekend. Some highlights for me:
Friday night’s Melody of the Moon class in the Buddha Tent with Sierra Hollister that included a healing circle meditation. It was a slow flow that helped everyone chill out and settle into the rhythm of the weekend. The blue moon made this experience that much sweeter.
Saturday morning’s dharma talk with Jeff Tiebout. Turns out, he is a friend of a friend from way back when. We discussed happiness, movement, ethical living, practice, and cultivating a sense of celebration in your life. This sense of celebration is a difficult one to maintain, but reminding yourself to live in the present moment and experience this moment for what it is right now is a big first step. Count your blessings.
Sunday morning’s Bhakti Yoga workshop with Durga Das, aka David Newman, and his wife Mira was incredibly inspiring. Not only did David include stories about the chanting that we all proceeded to do in both call-and-response fashion and together, but by the end of the workshop, he had inspired so many in the audience to stand up and offer their own expression in the “call” portion of the chant, to the joy and delight of the crowd’s “response.” Maybe 50 or 60 people were there and many who stood up had never, ever sung a solo in front of a crowd before, but people were so inspired to offer their own energy to the experience, they couldn’t help it. David masterfully made all of the singers feel so comfortable with their own expression. Some people obviously have had some sort of vocal training or at least practice, and others could not keep a beat or sing in key… and it was all just amazing and beautiful and fun. Each voice was a unique flavor in the musical soup. Every heart present melted and opened.
Okay, so I will not forget about the music. Bryan Elijah Smith and the Wildhearts are one of my new faves of this summer. These guys are young and fresh and original sounding. Funktion is another band I can highly recommend. They are totally danceable… and hula hoop-able! Trevor Hall rocked the house on Saturday night. And of course David Newman and his kirtan band shared the love in a way that only they can conjure.
Yoga and music. Together. I cannot think of anything better.
Well, except for leading a fun meditation on the energy of Ganesha on Sunday morning in the Buddha Tent. I was so happy that people actually showed up for an early morning meditation after jamming into the wee hours the night before. We played with the mantra Om Gam Ganapataye Namah. This bija mantra of Ganesha is the seed that contains the fullest potential of the energy of the elephant deity himself. “Bija” means “seed” and Ganesha, as with any mythological figure, represents some aspect of our own awareness. In this case, Ganesha is the one who sits in a threshold. He is the remover of obstacles because he is the obstacle. In case you hadn’t noticed, elephants are big. When he sits at a threshold in your own path, he is inviting you to a deeper conversation with yourself. It is not helpful to ignore him or deny that he exists or even that the doorway exists. He wants you to engage with him in order to help you move through that gateway to some greater experience in your own life. It is not always happy — most obstacles in life tend to be a real pain (to state the obvious, yes) — but the engagement, the working with rather than resisting whatever challenge you face is the path to transforming that challenge into something that supports you and your life.
I first learned meditation while in school at Virginia Tech. It was so great to return to southwest Virginia to actually teach meditation. Here’s to many more years and good times to come at Floyd Yoga Jam. Special thanks to the organizers, Shirleyann Burgess and Laura Polant for doing such an excellent job in organizing all the events and making sure that they ran smoothly. And Laura’s dog Cody!
By mid-morning, we had returned to the temple grounds for the culminating event of the festival, darshan. Shiva Nataraja was waiting in the Raja Sabha, and even though we arrived early for this ritual, there were many already assembled there. It was clear that it would be difficult to get up close to Nataraja without pushing. We gathered with the dikshitar families in front of the homa platform to progress as a group into the courtyard and then the King’s Hall, hopeful to get up close to Nataraja in all of his grandeur after the morning bath. We paraded through the crowds with our guides acting as bodyguards to keep us somewhat together and to get up close. The nearer we came to the hall, the more difficult it became. We made it to the doors, and even through them, but it was a total mosh pit. There were big people and little people, everyone sweating in the south Indian summer heat, I had to hold tight to my pallu or else my sari, one single, extremely long wrap of silk, could be pulled off even. The largest of the sweaty Indian men would laugh as they lurched from side to side, directing the flow of humanity, generating new waves of motion just to stir up the energy in the room. It was tight in there, and Indian children would sometimes cry when they got squished between bodies. At one point an elderly woman was next to me and we exchanged a look of resigned amusement, knowing that we could not move forward or back, and so we just settled into the space we were holding. Turns out, the elderly woman was Vasu’s mother and he was very worried for her being stuck in the crowd and perhaps a bit fragile. So within moments Vasu had navigated the thick crowd and plucked her out from the center into the safety of the sidelines. How he was able to move himself and her out of the crowd is still mind-boggling to me. I was stuck in the middle of bodies of all shapes and sizes, knowing I couldn’t go anywhere, doing my best to blend in to the current.
When the curtains were finally drawn and Nataraja was visible, wave upon wave of emotion passed over the crowd, people whooped and swooned. There was nothing else to do but soak it up, and hold on to my sari. Since I could not see very well at the middle of the mosh pit Raja Sabha surrounded by taller people, I settled again into the space I was occupying and just moved with the current for still longer. Darshan lasted quite a while it seemed, and then when the curtains were drawn, the crowd energy was palpably saddened. The dikshitars yelled to create a pathway down the center for the procession to move back through the courtyard to the Inner Sanctum. It was time for Nataraja to go home.
Miraculously the crowds parted down the center of the hall and I, along with some dikshitars’ families in front of me and my intrepid group behind, were pushed into the parting to lead the procession back to the Inner Sanctum. I held my pallu tight, kept my head low, and followed the ones in front of me. I didn’t want to get lost or lose my place in the procession either. We walked down the long courtyard and back into the main temple grounds to the 1000 Pillared Hall. At some point in the 1000 Pillared Hall it occurred to me that there was no way I would actually get lost because by now I knew my way around the temple, and even the town, and so I should stop worrying and actually look up and enjoy the procession. There wasn’t even a need to maintain my place in the procession really, so I should just relax. This thought went through my head and I immediately looked up and gazed around.
The carved faces on the columns blended with the faces of the crowds which covered every square centimeter of space inside the hall. All of the colors of eyes and clothing and skin and hair were moving together. Singing together. At once, each of those faces became the cells of one body, my body. We were one huge organism breathing as one. Swaying and dancing and loving as one. Each individual was a unique awareness that had chosen to be here at this moment to experience This Moment. And it was complete harmony. Complete balance as the currents of human culture and excitement pulsed through our veins and our hearts together. All of the external movement supported a greater internal truth. Eyes closed or eyes wide open, we were one giant being together, supporting each other, loving each other, by the grace of Nataraja. A kula in the highest sense of the word.
The bells of the temple began to ring. Nataraja returned to his resting place, and Shivakamasundari to hers. All was in order, ready to rest and then begin anew.
2011 is not over yet. There is still time to learn to ride the ocean waves. But for now, I am content riding the waves of grace.